Frugal in the Fruitlands

In honor of my monthly challenge to exercise 30 minutes daily, this is health and finance month on Frugal in the Fruitlands.

I have a shameful confession to make. It’s April 21st, and I’ve only exercised 15 out of 20 of the days this month. Last week was especially bad, because I’d been feeling sick and run-down. This all culminated on Thursday on what I think was a migraine. Oy… what a perfect month to devote to health, hm?

But, as promised, some fabulous frugal fitness links. (Yeah, I totally said that just for the alliteration).

RealAge.com. The “real age” quiz – which is quite comprehensive – is the namesake of the site, but the site is much more than that. Basically, it’s the web hub for Doctors Roizen and Oz, the doctors behind the YOU series of books (You: On a Diet; You: Staying Young, etc), which I consider to be the most sensible diet and fitness books out there. I’d especially recommend the Workout Center, where you can view videos of different workouts from their books (some with basic gym equipment, some without). This is good for uncoordinated people like me who spend entirely too much time frowning over text descriptions of exercises. Note: if you opt to view one of the workouts; it will take you to a log-in page, but you can skip signing up for the website if it bothers you – just click on the links to the left to get where you want to go.

I mentioned Cool Running’s Couch to 5K running program before, and I’d like to mention it again. To quote the article in question, “The idea is to transform you from couch potato to runner, getting you running three miles (or 5K) on a regular basis in just two months.” The authors admit it is more of a “walking-and-jogging” program, as you build up your endurance, than it is training for any kind of foot race. In my continuing effort to Bike Up The Big Ass Hill, I may be starting this myself next month. The only equipment you need here is a good pair of running shoes.

Some geeks prefer the Lifetime Fitness Ladder of the Hacker’s Diet as a way to improve their fitness. Each rung on the ladder is composed of a series of basic calisthenics – for example, bend, sit-up, leg lift – which you may remember them from gym class. As you climb the ladder, you simply do more of each. The benefit of this program is that it’s short (10-15 minutes each) and that you can easily track your progress as you ascend the ladder. Like the YOU workouts, there’s no equipment needed, but keep in mind – no doctors were involved in authoring this program (though it is based on the Royal Canadian Air Force’s “5BX” program).

Spending 40 hours a week at work, it’s hard to find time to exercise. I make sure to take a 30-minute walk over my lunch, but I also value the simple exercises mentioned in Exercise on the Job. I’m not sure I’d necessarily crunch abs in my office chair, but I have done some of the wall work while in the bathroom, or leg work under my desk.

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In honor of my monthly challenge to exercise 30 minutes daily, this is health and finance month on Frugal in the Fruitlands.

Five years ago, I had just graduated from college and was living in Haverhill, working part-time at an auto supply. I had the afternoons free, and it seemed to be a great opportunity to get in shape. Near my job there was a Workout World, and I decided to walk in one day and check it out.

That was my first mistake.

The Hard Sell. When I inquired about a membership, I was greeted by a chipper employee and given a tour of the facilities. It wasn’t until after this tour that I sat down with the bleach-blond, over-tanned owner and was shown a contract and a schedule of fees. The monthly fee was $19.99, but together with the sign-up costs, the membership would cost me over $400 in the first year.

I was hesitant.

She promptly lowered the sign-up fees by $50.

I was still uncertain: “You know what?” I said, “Let me think about this and come back tomorrow.” She lowered the fee again, and said they weren’t sure the monthly rate was going to stay at $19.99 a month for long, but if I paid them $10 today, they would hold the rate for me for a week.

… yeah, that was a big lie. If you’re at all familiar with Workout World, you know that’s their gimmick: $19.99 a month. It’s right on their sign. It’s still $19.99 a month, five years later. No way in hell were they going to raise the rates.

But I was an idiot. I paid the fee, and came back the next day and signed up (admittedly, at a greatly reduced sign-up fee. I hate to think what would happen if I didn’t try to exit my seat as quickly as possible).

In retrospect, I realize that from the moment I walked in, they had me. They showed me the gym first, so I would see all the nice features. Then they put me in a position from which I could not politely extract myself. Their goal, of course, is to get you to buy right now. They know if they get you out of their sight, you’re not going to come back. They let me “get away” with the $10 fee with the logic that if I pay them $10 today, I’m likely to come back, thanks to our friend the sunk cost fallacy.

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I’ve decided that the solution to my non-dairy dilemma is to cut coffee out of my life. Nay, not just coffee but all caffeine.

… at least for two weeks.

The first thing to understand about my tragicomic relationship with caffeine is that I appear to be hypersensitive to it. Only two cups or so has the power to send me on jittery, edgy – and yet delightfully hypomanic – trip. The further problem is that I am by nature an anxious person. Stress alone can keep me awake; but caffeine sends my body into an adrenaline spiral that remains even after the caffeine itself has filtered off.

I’ve known this for a long time about myself, but lately I’ve chosen to ignore it, because I do so like that edge between hypomania and dysfunction. This is not a unique phenomenon – caffeine is glorified in geek culture for exactly this reason. Maybe some geeks have a better tolerance for caffeine that I do, but not surprisingly, as I’ve been drinking more of it, I’ve had more problems sleeping. Because I have problems sleeping, and I’m tired in the morning, I drink more of it.

Now it’s time to put this cycle to rest.

Two strategies I plan to use:

1. Enlist help. I’ve enlisted BardWench to join me in this caffeine detox – actually, it started out as her idea. The ‘feen doesn’t have quite the hold on her that it does on me, but I look forward to checking in with a kind friend every morning, nonetheless.

2. Start a new morning habit. My morning habit used to involve coming into work, starting up my computer, and getting a cup of coffee. Now I’m going to start my day with a cup of herbal tea instead.

And two inspirational links:

1. Dear Caffeine, We Need to Talk @ Modern Worker.

2. Stop Being a Slave to Starbucks: How to Quit Caffeine @ Wise Bread.

So far I’m on day three, and I’m doing very well – I’m sleeping better and I don’t feel deprived. The only problem is that a humongo box of tea just arrived from a tea swap – ho noez! I’ve decided that I’m allowed to pick out caffeinated teas, but I’m not going to drink them until my two weeks is up.

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Spendthrift Sunday is a new feature designed to highlight one distinctly un-frugal product that we’re being convinced we need.

I think I have a drinking problem: every day I pour two to three cups of coffee into my body, and I can’t seem to stop. One good thing is that I have a free source of it: the coffee at work. The bad thing about this, however, is that it needs some nuclear-powered chaser to bust through its bitterness. Half and half with sugar? Too weak!

The balance of light and dark in my (work) coffee is only restored by the power of non-dairy creamer. The liquid kind, and a brand name, at that – I won’t disclose which one, but it rhymes with “irate.” By its power alone, the coffee at work is rendered drinkable.

Now, the creamer is not provided free of charge – someone usually has to buy it. Since I seem so dependent on it, it tends to be me. And here’s where the spendthrift part comes in: I spent around $7 last week providing my office with creamer, a large part of which I won’t even get to drink.

If it were simply a question of money, I might accept this fact. But let’s examine the fact that there is nothing even close to “cream” in non-dairy creamer. The British call it whitener, and that’s a far more accurate term. What are some of the tantalizing ingredients? The top three are water, sugar and partially hydrogenated soybean and/or cottonseed oil. Mmmm. I luvs me some of that trans fat.

But wait! The label claims that there is “no trans fat.” How is that possible? Oh, I see. They’ve engineered the serving size so that the amount of trans fat slips in under label regulations. Clever.

So every day I’m putting a shitload of trans fat into my young-and-yet-cholesterol-ridden body. AND I’m paying for the privilege.

Sadly, all the options for changing this habit seem less than ideal:

1) Make coffee at home. When I make coffee at home, it’s usually Kenya AA or Kona coffee (some of the world’s finest), and it’s not bitter enough to need more than a splash of half and half and some chocolate syrup. This combination would probably make my at-home coffee expense more than my at-work non-dairy creamer expense, but it would be moderately healthier – well, except that half and half is not exactly a healthy food, either.

2) Drink tea. I have plenty of teas at work, caffeinated and otherwise, so that’s an option. Generally I don’t get much of a high off tea anymore, and it is by caffeine alone that I put my hands in motion.

3) Wean myself off caffeine. I am not, by any means, a h4rdc0r3 coffee drinker. Two or three cups is enough to turn me into Rainman. So this would likely not be terribly difficult. What I would miss most would be the ritual: the coming into work, turning on my computer, and sitting down to a cup of sweet, sweet transfatty caffeinated goodness.

Any other suggestions for avoiding this spendthrift pitfall, my good readers?

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